you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
