Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
