this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I party with great urgency now.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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