i think my tv is drunk
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
