Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
