My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Drunk is not a location!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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