Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
