I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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