Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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