Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
