Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
