The maid of honor just puked.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
