Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize