I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
