Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
