You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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