weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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