So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
