So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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