he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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