You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i love accidental penises.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize