Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
BRING THE BAGELS
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
