Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This is my gift to your gina
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Randomize
