I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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