its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
