I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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