I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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