i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
