I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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