So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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