so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
