That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize