Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
