how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i will never coherently bang her
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My feet surprised me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
