matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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