oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
