Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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