I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you win again, gameday.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
