he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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