so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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