I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize