Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
