he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize