fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
