no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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