Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
