I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
