forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
