i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
