I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
