she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
