Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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