He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
if i can run in heels then i can drive
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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