Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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