I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
