We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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