I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
